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Archive of Picks |
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Disclaimer: This site is not affiliated with Steve
Czaban's "Jimmy Masterlock Dugan", nor do we claim to be
the one and the same. This is an homage to his
character popularized on the Bob and Brian Show, and as
such we hope he won't get mad. Mr. Czaban, we'd
love to have you help out sometime! (wisemipro@wisemipro.com) |
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WISemiPro.com:
Proud to be the Official home for James "Masterlock"
Dugan |
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Check back here for Dugan's
weekly write-ups and picks
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cock a
doodle doo my little barnyard gambling
degenerate friends. Its Ol’ Farmer Jimmy
here to drive his gold plated tractor up to
the back forty of the old Dugan place and
till rows and rows of the most lush, most
succulent, most healthy and strong cash flow
seen round these parts in purt neer a
generation. We’ve got the barn full of
Mercedes, a silo full of bling and a farm
house full of “farmer’s daughters.” Why
don’t ya come on by and set a spell. Have
some lemonade on the porch after you fire in
your picks and after the games are played
today well head on over to your man’s place
and slap high five after high five while
that ornery old banker Mr. Peabody
forecloses on his mortgage. Jimmy’s makin’
hay. Jimmy’s putting food on the table of
the world. Jimmy puts cash in your pocket
and that’s the fact, Jack.
I’ve got a bail out plan for
ya. Ready Nancy? Ready Harry? Ready Johnny?
Ready Barry? George, are you listening. Well
open your goddamn ears. Take that 700
billion dollars and lay it parlay style this
week on Jimmy’s picks and we’ll be plating
the White House in gold by Sunday afternoon
baby. Can you say Jimmy “Bling Bling” ‘08. I
can. And we’re gonna take a GOP elephant
sized dump on your man’s head right now.
Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Kneecap your
Man"
Picks
Vipers (-14.5)
Force (-28.5)
Rebels (-21.5)
Rattlers (+7.5)
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-= Memorable
Quotes =-
"Did Timmy
fall in the well, boy? If by 'Timmy'
you mean your man, then you bet your sweet
ass he did!"
"Did you lose your house in the flooding?
Buy everyone's house on he block then plate
them all with solid gold..."
"You don't want to try to pick these
yourself. Well, you could, but you'd
be a moron."
"Get out your pen, get out some paper, shut
your cake crusher and crush your man's
dreams like a Russian tank column rolling
through Georgia." |
Kettle Moraine Titans
(-14.5) v. Bay Area Vipers (WSFL):
Slitherin House has been less than
productive on offense lately. However,
its D has been reasonably stout. The
Titan’s on the other hand, I think,
thought they were joining a co-ed kick
ball league. Facts is facts and the
facts are that KM looks more like a BM
and today, will find nothing but pain
running into the man with no neck Deke
“I run down and kill whitetail deer with
my bare hands” Suri. Take the Snakes,
unhinge your jaw, and swallow your man’s
wallet whole.
Lake Country Cyclones (-28.5) v. Fox
Valley Force (WSFL):
WTF!!!??? Again, WTF???!!! Well, my
sweet golden domers are back in action
baby. Now we’ll see what kind of men
will fill those historic uni’s on a
short week. The ‘Clones get some tough
love in their return to football and FV
is a rolling silver tank these days.
Further, it word on the street is that
Derek “Scented Candle” Distin won’t be
behind center for this one. Take Fox
Valley this week but watch for this
storm to pick up into a Category “Wholly
Crap” in the weeks to come. |
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Saukville
Demons (-21.5) v. Oostburg
Rebels (WSFL): Jimmy made this mistake once. It’s a big spread, but
the Gremlins have taken
their annual plunge into
semi-pro futility. Mad max
on the other hand is also
putting together another
season of unspectacular
however successful football
and will, in point of fact,
roll up the Demons and smoke
them with a bag of Funyuns.
Take the Maroon Goons and
smoke your man.
River City
Rattlers (-7.5) v. West Bend
Junk Yard Dogs (WSFL):
The Garter Snakes in their
last chance at a statement
game. Sylvester Ritter and
the boys are on their way to
another playoff birth. Jimmy
sez they take their foot off
the gas this week.
Soooooooooo, bark like a dog
for me cause you may want
the points, you may like the
points and by God your gonna
get the points in Las Vegas,
Reno, Barbados, Bermuda,
Antigua, and other off shore
gambling havens, BUT you’re
not gonna need ‘em! Take
Watertucky to get medieval
all over the Mutt Puppys and
leave your man’s family
munching Kibbles and Bits
out of Rover’s bowl.
The WSFL
makes it hard for us kids,
but Jimmy’s never scared.
Jimmy’s lovingly worked the
land of the fertile
Wisconsin Semi-Pro leagues
now you get out their and
harvest the bounty. And when
your picking your teeth with
your pants undone Jimmy
wants a thank you card. See
ya next week and remember,
scared money don’t make
money, God hates a coward,
and its only gambling if you
don’t know what you’re
doing.
Dugan, out!
Jimmydugan@ymail.com
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NAFL |
Raiders (+12)
@ Wolfpack
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